Contest Entry

I know I haven't posted in awhile, but I got a couple of battlefield promotions at work, which has required me to be working 7 days a week with a minimum of 10 hrs. a day.

Exhaustion is me...

Anyway, the subject of this Toe Blog is because my friend Clif, who writes a newsletter called ClifNotes.

Clif has this contest going in which he is giving away a cool premium Wiki website free for a year.

Anyway, I thought I would enter. To do that, one has to write Clif an email and tell him why you want of need it.

This is a copy of the email I sent Clif:

"My need is real. I feel that there are not enough websites devoted to toes. Although I have a blog devoted to toes, I feel it does not fulfill the full potential of the toe.

For example, here are a few little known facts about toes:

Fact: All our presidents had toes.

Fact: Without toes, there would no need for flip-flop shoes.

Fact: Without toes, there would be a savings of an estimated 413 million curse words in the United States from people who stub them.

As you can see from these examples, the potential of an unlimited page website would improve the education and knowledge of people in regards to the toe.

It is obvious that the restrictions placed upon me in a small blog create an impossible situation.

Enough said. Let me know when I can get the site and start."

I cannot think of any need more urgent than one of the toe. Clif has no choice other than to pick me.

Next Toe Blog, I will let you know what happened and what I have been doing here in my new job!

Hello From Las Vegas!

Well, I did it. I made the move.

I packed my poor little car to the brim and made the run down Hwy. 15 to Vegas. There is more stuff, but with the fuel prices the way they are, I didn't want to rent a truck to bring everything I had. I drove all night long, because there is less traffic and I can just tool down the road.

Now, I showed up at my house, took everything out of the car and threw it in a big pile on my bedroom floor.

I do that because I am a guy.

Women seem to have the ability to know where everything should go... What should be hung up and what goes into drawers. I spend 20 minutes just trying to fiqure out which drawer to put my underwear in.

First of all, I didn't have anything in my room. No bed, dresser, desk for the computer, chairs or lamps. The first day I was so tired from the drive and move, I just spread my blankets on the floor and went to sleep. My roommate set out an air mattress, but it just looked too complicated to pull out of the bag and blow up.

So, within a couple of days and many visits to the local Wal-Mart, I have everything in my room now.

The big pile in the middle of the floor is almost gone.

I am not a gambler.

Many years ago I moved to South Lake Tahoe, CA. (a gambling town) to be roommates with my best friend. I took a job as a cook in a casino. I got my first paycheck and cashed it there at the casino. When you cash your check, they give you free drink coupons, so I went to the bar.

After drinking the free drinks and accepting a few others from my co-workers, I was just drunk enough to try gambling for the first time. Now, I had no idea how to play any of the games. Slot machines do nothing for me. I decided to play craps because, not knowing what I was doing, figured I could ask the person standing next to me how to play without looking like an idiot.

Anyway, I doubled my paycheck and then left thinking, "That was easy, how do they make any money?"

Two weeks later, the next payday, I cashed my check, just like before and set out to double it just like the last time. This would be perfect because the rent was due and all that extra money would be great!

Wrong.

Long story short, three hours later I was drunk, tired and broke.

Worst of all, I had to go home and tell my roommate that I had lost my rent money. I wanted to cry.

Well, I bit the bullet, went home and told him. This is why he is my friend: He said that this sort of thing happens to everybody when they first move to town and he would cover the rent, but he said he was going to meet me when I get off work on payday. He said he was going to stand next to me when I cash my check, take the rent money to make sure the bills and rent are covered.

After that, I never lost a paycheck again.

But I digress.

My main challange is to keep my room clean and bathroom clean. My roommate is a cool guy. He works on computers and programs. Nice guy.

Anyway, I got a job the first day and the first place I looked. It is a cool local bar. It is just what I wanted.

I work four graveyard shifts from 11PM to 7AM. I am a night person and like working at night.

I don't like the morning shifts. People are not meant for mornings. People are not nice in the morning. Nobody looks good in the morning. I don't care how good you look the night before, in the morning you look like crap. Now this my be a shock to some people, but if the person who you wake up with says how great you look in the morning, they are lying.

I have more on my mind, but this blog entry is long enough. Just check the next entry. You are going to love it!

Talk to you later from Vegas!

I Hate Moving...

I know you all have noticed and missed my posts here, but I have been in Las Vegas....

I am going to move sometime next week.

I hate moving.

It is not that I don't like moving to another place. That is cool. What I don't like is the act of getting it together to move.

I love Las Vegas... I have lived, for years, in 24 hour towns and enjoy the fact that if you get off work at midnight or 2AM, there is something to do. I have always been a night owl and have always worked the swing or graveyard shifts. I just don't think the people are made to get up in the morning. Does anybody you know look good in the morning? They are always grumpy.

In the town I live in now, they roll up the sidewalks at 11.

I hate moving. You have to pack.

Do you notice that when you are packing, there seems to more stuff than you ever thought you had?

I do.

I remember when I moved from South Lake Tahoe, CA. Except for a few items around the house and kitchen, most of what I had was in my room. The room was small, so I fiqured I could just pack up a few boxes, sell the bed, take my TV and throw everything into my car. I would be on the road within an hour.

That didn't happen.

First of all, you never count on the stuff you have accumulated through the time one has lived in the location. I am one of those guys who keeps stuff to remind me of things. Well, now I have to go through all that stuff to see what memories I can throw into the trash. I expected that this would be a depressing experience, because I will be throwing away all those great times.

What I found is that those times must have been not that great, because I can't remember what that stuff was supposed to mean.

I had match books. I had napkins with telephone numbers without names. I had match books and napkins with names and numbers of people I can't remember. I found key chains, buttons, New Years stupid hats and drink glasses.

I am sure that all that stuff had some importance at one time, but I can't remember what that was.

I even found a girl's bright red bra.

About the bra. I have found over the years , being single, girls tend to mark their territory. They would always leave something behind when they leave. I can't believe they would leave behind, by mistake, their underwear. I mean, how hard is it to put on the same clothes in the morning that you wore the night before?

Well, I caught on to this and took action. I made sure they had all their stuff on when they get ready to leave. But women are smart. They started leaving makeup all over the bathroom to mark that territory. I told them that they had to keep the bathroom clean. I then found that they started leaving their mark in other places in the bathroom that was hard to find, like lipstick on the reverse side of a towel hanging in the bathroom.

Women are smart.

I hate moving.

Anyway, when most people think of Las Vegas, they think of the Strip or Downtown Like Here . The fact is, in the surrounding areas, there are all kinds of Clubs, Bars and other social places, open 24 hours a day. And because it is a 24 hr. town, the locals are getting off work at all hours, so it isn't like you are the only person in those places. It is basically like your local after work meeting places 24 hours a day.

I am moving into a brand new house, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 story house. I found this house by checking out CraigsList looking for a roommate to move in with.

I like having a roommate, always have. I have found that it is more fun to interact with somebody at the house than it is having a bunch of people there all the time, drinking all your beer. Being a bartender, I get plenty of social interaction outside the house and am always around a ton of people, so it is nice to come home to a quiet house and just B.S. with your roommate. An added bonus is that I can afford a nicer place when I can split the costs with somebody else.

I hate moving.

By the way, there are many more women in Las Vegas that understand my Toe Blog... There is nobody here that understands the importance of toes and the need for somebody like myself to write about them.

I plan to become famous and possibly earn several awards with my writings about toes... I think Las Vegas is the perfect place to do that.

So, by the time I write again next week, I will be in Las Vegas and will relate my experiences to that point.

I hate moving.

"What?" "Like..." "What Do You Mean...?"

I have a niece who is 14 years old. She, like most teenagers today have a cell phone glued to her ear like she was born with it attached to her head. It is interesting to hear her talking on the phone to her friends.

Here is a example:

"Like I told her like I was like not going, because like I told her like I didn't want like to go."

When the person on the other end is talking, this is her response:

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

When she talks to me, she uses "like" every other word also. When she says something such as, "John, like did you know we like are out of milk?"

I respond:
"Are we out of milk, or like out of milk?"

It bothers me that young people today cannot form a whole sentence without having to put in meaningless words such as "like" to fill while they are forming one.

When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that people who cursed every other word in a sentence, just showed how ignorant they were in forming one. I think this may be the same issue and it disturbs me. We spend billions on schools who are supposed to teach people how to succeed in life, but cannot teach them how to form a simple conversational sentence. How are young people expected to be successful if they lack the skills of simple communication?

There is no doubt that teachers (and parents) hear this kind of conversation all day long, yet you never hear them express the same thing my father did with me. Nobody likes to be known as ignorant and if it became un-cool to say "like", people would stop doing it.

Employer to applicant:

"What is your education history?"

Applicant:

"I like went to like high school and then like graduated and like went to collage and like now I am here."

I am sure a response like that will get you a great position in the foodservice or hospitality industry.

Using "what" all the time is sort of the same thing. If a person is too slow to form a response to what the other person is saying, it buys you time to say "what" so the other person must repeat it and thus giving you that valuable time to form an answer.

I think she gets that from her mother (my sister). My sister buys time sort of the same way.

Example:

Me: "You left my dog outside and it ran away."
Her: "What do you mean the dog ran away?"

This response is meant for me to repeat the statement, thus buying her time to form a response. But because I know what is going on, I respond to her like this:

Me: "I can't explain it any other way."

This pisses her off.

Now, coming from the West Coast, I don't know if that is the way young people talk like this all over, but the ones that do should stop.

If they continue, I think their toes should be washed with a bar of soap until they stop.

You knew I would throw toes in here someplace.

"What I Have Learned About Blogging..."

Being a newbie to blogging, there is a learning curve that one goes through.

This is what I have learned so far:

1) The word verification is not turned on by default. This is the feature that, if you want to make a comment, you must copy the random word in order to post it. Well, I found out that the spammers wasted no time on spamming me. I have since turned that feature on, so that should take care of that issue.

2) Talking about toes has a interesting effect on the Google Ads. All the ads on my page have to do with selling socks! Get it? Toes...socks? That cracks me up! I don't know anybody that buys socks over the internet. I can't even imagine anybody who would even search for socks on the internet...

"Sigh"...I don't think I will get rich from the Google sock ads...

3) It has been pointed out to me by my buddy TeMerc that this blog will attract a bunch of foot fetish people. I think they will only be interested in the toe links and not my blog.

John<---Getting Smarter

Feel free to click the ads at the top of the page and buy those socks!

"Thinking About Toes"

Toes seem to one of those things that nobody wants to talk about...

Sort of like that crazy uncle.

I like toes. Think about it. There are fat toes, skinny toes, long toes, short toes, ugly toes and good looking toes.

People seem to be uncomfortable about talking about toes...I wonder why?

Toes are not like people's "private parts". It is not like if we show our toes, we get arrested. Sure, most of the time they are covered up, but not always.

I think girls like to show their toes more than guys. Ever wonder why? I have.

It is my theory that it is economics. If a girl spends 40 bucks on painting her toes, she is bound to show them off. On the other hand, guys, unlike girls, spend nothing on their feet, so are not so inclined to show them off.

Guys only show their toes because they are too lazy to put on socks.

In the future we will explore this and other hard hitting subjects that may get me mentioned and possibly a guest spot as an analyst on CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and CNBC.

Now for the advertisements and the answers to all the questions I know you all are asking:

"What the heck made you start this blog?"

Good question. I had the toes avatar in the TeMerc Countermeasures Forum and somehow got on the subject of starting a Toe Blog

This seemed to be pushed ahead by my bud Clif, who runs and writes the Clif Notes Newsletter.

If you don't like this blog, please, feel free to write them with your disgust.

"If you become famous, will you still keep blogging?"

No.

"Do your toes look anything like the ones in the picture?"

Yes.

"Will you be giving links to other toes to see if my toes look like anything that is pictured on the internet?"

Sure! Here are a few that Clif dug up: